Debt
by GreenEyedWarlock
Summary: Still struggling with the aftermath of the chaos caused by the Illuminati, Izumo goes off on her own to mourn her losses, wanting to just grieve on her own, away from the others. Of course, things have never gone the way she wanted to, especially when a certain half demon shows up. Manga Spoilers up to chapter 63.


**Debt**

All exorcists are more physically fit than the average person, no matter which meister they choose. They need to be prepared for long missions and unexpected circumstances. And this was a fact that Kamiki Izumo used to her advantage, as she climbed up on top of her dorm, in the middle of the night. Here, no one, not even Paku, could reach her.

It had been several days since she was released from the hospital. Despite relying on Shiemi after discovering her sister had forgotten about her, Izumo still felt terrible. Her entire world had been turned upside down in a matter of days. She lost her reason for being an exorcist. And she lost both her mother and sister in different ways. Talking with Shiemi had been a big help, but Izumo was still struggling to piece herself back together. What she really needed was to be able to release all her pent up emotions. To be able to grieve in peace, out of the sight of the others.

And so, Izumo found herself on top of her dorm, with her arms hugging her legs into her chest, staring off into the black nothingness of space.

She thought back on past events. About how things could have turned out differently if just one action, one decision, was changed. Maybe if Mephisto had told her that her sister was safe, she wouldn't have gone with the Illuminati so willing, and her mother may have lived long enough to be saved. Maybe if Shima would have done something, anything, to help her, she may have been able to save her mother. Maybe if the Illuminati weren't such bastards, they wouldn't have forced her family through this tragedy. But, even though she could blame others for the outcome of that day, the person she blamed the most was herself.

Despite everything that happened Izumo, forced herself to not cry. She told herself that she didn't have the right to. She was the one responsible for her mother's death. She could have prevented it.

She knew how irrational that sounded. The people responsible for her mother's death were the Illuminati. It didn't stop her from thinking such self-destructive thoughts, though.

 _If only I had fought back more, I may have been able to escape and come back with help to save her._ Izumo thought. _If only I wasn't so damn stubborn and would have just relied on Rin and the others in the beginning, we might have been able to save my mother and gotten her help. If only I was strong enough take control of the Nine-Tailed Fox Spirit then she wouldn't have had to give her life to save mine. If only I hadn't called the Illuminati on_ that _day then maybe Exorcists would have come and been able to save her._

 _If only I had never been born, then maybe mother could have lived a long and happy life._

Eventually, Izumo could no longer hold back her tears. She buried her head in her knees as, despite her best efforts not to, she finally felt herself start to cry. Whether it was due to the anger she directed at herself, or the sorrow of losing her family, she could not tell.

How long she stayed like that, she did not know. Eventually, Izumo heard a noise and picked up her head, wiping away her tears. She knew how vulnerable she looked and was still paranoid after being abducted by the Illuminati.

She reached for her summoning circles and hid behind a chimney. She heard the noise again. It was coming from the other end of the roof. As she peaked around her cover, Izumo rubbed her eyes to makes sure she wasn't seeing things.

The culprit behind the noise was none other than Rin Okumura.

While she knew she wasn't in any danger, Kamiki still didn't want to let anyone see her in the sorry state she was in. Especially not Rin. For all she knew, he may tell everyone about this to try to get them all to make her feel better. Being surrounded by everyone was the last thing she wanted. She kept her back pressed against the chimney and prayed that Rin would leave.

 _Why was he here? And what's he doing out so late?_ Kamiki thought. She held her breathe and hoped he hadn't noticed her.

"You know I saw you, right?"

Izumo jumped and let out a shriek when Rin suddenly appeared beside her, losing her footing on the roof. As she started to fall Rin reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her back to her feet.

"It's alright, I got you." Rin said with a smile.

"I wouldn't have needed you to 'get me' if you hadn't snuck up on me in first place!" Izumo shot back at Rin as she leaned against the chimney and crossed her arms.

He appeared to deflate a little at that comment. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"What are you even doing up here, on top of the _girl's_ dorm? And do you know what time it is? And what are you wearing?"

"Well I didn't really have time to change. Paku called me and told me to come over as fast as I could. When I got here, she said you disappeared." Rin explained. "Oh, that reminds me," Rin said as he pulled out his cellphone. "I need to let Paku know I found." After shooting of a quick text to Paku, Rin put his cellphone away.

Not wanting to worry her best friend, Izumo patiently waited for Rin to finish before continuing her interrogation of the half demon. "How did you even know I was up here? I know Paku was asleep when I left."

"Well," Rin started, as rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment, "you know how I'm part demon? And how I can sense other demons? I figured, since you're part demon, I might be able to sense you, too."

"So now you know where I am all the time?!" Shouted Izumo, disturbed and slightly angry at the thought of Rin being able to keep tabs on her 24/7.

"No! Nothing like that! You barely have any demon blood so I have to really concentrate to be able to sense you. I'm pretty sure that the only reason I could sense you in the first place was because you were so close by!" Rin explained, trying to calm down Izumo.

She let out a sigh of relief. "Alright, well you found me. You can go back to sleep now."

"What? Why would I do that?" Rin questioned, as if Izumo had asked him to dive into a pool of holy water.

"Why would you stay?" Izumo countered.

"Because you're obviously still upset about what happened with the Illuminati! You were up here crying and you haven't been yourself ever since we got back!"

…

Izumo was stunned into silence. She figured Rin would be able to tell she was crying, but didn't realize he could tell she was acting so different ever since they got back. She thought she did a good job of pretending to be fine, but Rin turned out to be better at reading people than she thought.

"I was that obvious, huh?" Izumo relented, accepting that Rin wasn't leaving any time soon.

"Well everyone figured you would still be a bit shaken up. And for what it's worth, I think most of them think you're better than you really are. I almost fell for it."

"You're more perceptive than I thought."

"Nah, I'm not that perceptive. Yukio and the Old Man were able to keep being exorcists and me being the son of Satan a secret from me. I'm just able to tell when something is bothering the people I'm close with."

Izumo didn't even have the energy to make a comment about that last sentence.

"Plus," Rin continued. "I kinda get what you're going through."

Izumo glanced at Rin, but saw no trace of the happy-go-lucky idiot she knew. But just because he was being serious for once didn't mean she appreciated him pretending to understand her.

"Do you? Do you really get what I'm going through? Let me guess what you're going to say. You're going to say I'm not alone. You're going to say that I can rely on you and the others! And you're going to tell me my mother's death wasn't my fault!" Izumo knew Rin was just trying to help and she was just using him as an emotional punching bag. But she couldn't keep herself from raising her voice until she was shouting at him.

Izumo watched as Rin thought about how to answer back to that.

"Did I ever tell you how my father died?"

"He was killed by Satan." Izumo stated, slightly confused at where Rin was going with this. "Obviously Satan would be interested in you. It's not like it's your fault you were born as his son.

"That's just the official story. There's way more to it than that. My Old Man was the Paladin. The strongest exorcist there was. He was so strong Satan wasn't able to possess him once my whole life. At least, not until I said something. When the Old Man told me about being the son of Satan, he told me to run 'cause he wanted to keep me safe. But I was upset at him for lying to me and I was confused. I…I yelled at him and told him to stop acting like he was my father."

Rin stopped talking for a while and started taking deeper breathes. After taking a minute to compose himself, he continued.

"Satan was able to possess my father because I had said that. Because I was acting like dumb teenager and acting out against my father, Satan was able to get to him. Then, Satan opened up the Gehenna gate and tried to drag me into it. But even while being possessed by Satan, the Old Man was still protecting me. He stabbed himself to stop Satan. He was able to fight back Satan and sacrifice himself just to save me."

This was the first Izumo had heard about what really happened. She didn't know how similar of a situation Rin had been in.

"Because of the things that I had said and done, my father died for me. Which is why I can say this."

Even knowing that Rin really did understand her situation couldn't prepare her for what he said next.

"Your mother's death was your fault."

That one sentence hurt more than all the physical pain the Illuminati had caused her. It was the exact opposite of what anyone else would have told her, but it was exactly how she felt. That statement may have been false to everyone else, but, to her, it was the truth.

She was so stunned by Rin's statement that she start to fall until Rin grabbed onto her. She could sense that Rin wasn't done and held onto him, to brace herself for what he said next.

"You know that's not true, but you won't ever accept that. You'll keep lying to yourself. And it won't get better. Even when you start to forget, you'll make up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, and realize they aren't here anymore. No matter how long it's been, there will be days that you'll think they made the wrong decision in saving you."

Upon hearing Rin's words, Izumo could no longer control herself or her emotions. She let out an anguished cry and, just like with Shiemi, Izumo felt tears that had been damned up by her emotional barriers flow freely as she sobbed into Rin's shoulder. And, after a moment, she realized Rin wasn't just talking about her. He had started to cry into her shoulder as well.

They stayed like that for a time, holding onto each other for support, and mourning the loss of the family they would never see again. The ones' whose deaths were caused by them. When their crying had started to slow, they released from their embrace and collapsed against the chimney, taking deep breathes to calm themselves and regulate their erratic breathing.

After composing herself, Izumo spoke up. "You know, you're the worst. What person in their right mind tells someone their parent's death is their fault? And it seemed like I was comforting you just as much as you were comforting me at the end there." Despite how harsh her words were, Rin could tell she didn't really me them.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I probably could have done that better, but I'm not the brightest crayon the in the crayon box." Rin apologized.

"There's just one question I want to ask."

Izumo wiped away the last of her tears before continuing.

"Is there anything I can do for my mother? Anyway to make up for what I forced her to do? Any way to pay back this…this debt that I owe her?"

"I don't really know." Rin answered. "I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to pay back the Old Man for what he did. If I can, I know it'll still be a long time before I'm able to. But, I think the best way to do that is to just keep living and take advantage of the second chance he gave me. I know he wouldn't have wanted me to be depressed about what happened. He would have wanted me to live a long, happy life. So, I'll just keep chasing my dreams and living life to the fullest. And I'll make sure I'm strong enough so that I won't ever lose anyone that's important to me ever again. That way, no matter what happens, at the end of the day, we can all get together and have Sukiyaki."

Izumo thought for a moment. "I…I think that my mother would have wanted the same thing for me. She loved and cared about me so much. She would call me her 'treasure'. So, I'll make sure to I don't waste this chance she gave me."

"I know you were gonna yell at me for saying this before, but just remember, you _do_ have people you can rely on if you need to. Besides, listening is the only thing I'm good at!"

"You know," Izumo said. "Most people wouldn't brag about that."

"I know." Rin answered back.

"There's just one thing…" Izumo said as she started to glare at Rin

"Uh, what is it?" Rin asked, not sure if he liked where this was going.

"If you tell anyone about what just happened, I'll exorcise you."

Rin gulped nervously. "Don't worry, I won't tell a soul! So please don't exorcise me! This can be out little secret!"

Izumo smiled at that. "I'm okay with that." Izumo stated as she got up and dusted herself off. She offered a hand to Rin and pulled him up to his feet.

"And Rin," Izumo said, as she smiled and looked him in the eyes. "Thank you."

Izumo's uncharacteristic, straightforward attitude and words caused Rin to blush a little bit.

"No problem. That's what friends are for!" Rin shyly glanced away as he responded to Izumo.

"And if _you_ ever want to talk about your father, I guess I could make time and listen." Izumo told Rin. "Of course, if you ever do want to talk, I won't really have much of a choice since the son of Satan would be the one ordering me to.

"Hey, I though you all stopped with that!" Rin protested as they began to walk towards the edge of the roof to climb back down and go back to their respective rooms.

* * *

Izumo stood outside the door to the cram school preparing herself for a long day. She had barely gotten any sleep last night and had been drinking coffee and energy drinks to keep herself going. Just as Izumo finished off yet another energy drink, she noticed Rin walking up to the classroom and gasped at his appearance.

The half demon's hair was a mess, his uniform wasn't even close to being put on properly, and there were large bags under his eyes. The only reason why no one had told him was probably because he looked like even more of a thug then he ever had before.

"You look terrible." Izumo said bluntly.

"I feel terrible. I got virtually no sleep last night. When I got back to my dorm, Yukio was up and demanded to know where I was. When I told him I was out training for the Exorcist Exam, he got all fired up. He stayed up all night forcing me to train. He said that he wanted to take advantage of my motivation and train me even harder."

Rin let out a large yawn before he said, "What about you? It doesn't look like you got much sleep either."

Rin's yawning caused Izumo to yawn before she answered. "It turns out, Paku didn't go back sleep after you texted her. She had waited in our room for me to come back and interrogated me about what happened. She was convinced that something had happened last night. It took me more than an hour to convince her that all we did was just talk."

Rin let off another yawn which caused Izumo to yawn yet again.

"Would you stop with that yawning? It's getting on my nerves. Her, drink one of these." Izumo ordered Rin as she pulled out that last energy drink in her bag and handed it to him.

"Thanks Izumo, I owe you!"

"Yes you do. It was two dollars a can for that."

"Aww, you aren't actually giving it to me for free? Since when were you so stingy?" Rin whined.

"Since the Illuminati stopped paying for my living expenses. Mephisto's idea of an allowance is a joke. Of course, I should have expected that from a demon that thinks cup noodles are fine dining."

"Thanks though." Rin said. He proceeded to down the whole drink in a matter of seconds.

Rin looked at Izumo, who stared at him in disgust for his unsightly drinking habits.

"Ready?" Rin asked.

"Let's just get this over with so I can go back to sleep." Izumo said as they walked into the classroom and entered back into their daily lives, feeling just a bit better about themselves knowing there was at least one person out there that they could talk to when they were at there limit.


End file.
